The Stink Bug War #1

As the Summer winds down and the first chills of Fall start occasionally blustering about I have noticed an extreme violation of the unspoken, wildly one-sided (but I think still fair) treaty I have with the bugs that inhabit the area around my house. It goes something like this:

"All bugs are freely permited to run mindlessly into the lamp posts and outdoor lights surrounding the house as much as they please. They are also allowed to briefly land on the exterior of the house, provided they don't invite friends and agree to inform any fellow bugs that resting on this particular house wasn't even that great and kind of smelled.

Nesting on the exterior, interior, inside the walls or within any unreasonable distance of the house (to be determined by the inhabitant of the house) is intolerable.

Finally crossing the threshold into the house is strictly forbidden.

Violation of any of these terms shall be viewed as an admission of guilt. Violators are subject to the following penalties: Death.

This penalty shall be carried out by means of: Newspaper, the bottom of my shoe, vaccuum, flame, toilet, chemical warfare, or really anything I see fit."

The main violator of this treaty is none other than: The Stink Bug (pictured above (try not to puke (I know I almost did))). Now given their large population I think it safe to assume that there are a few among them that are dumb enough to simply disregard the treaty and attempt to enjoy some of my awesome air conditioning. So if once or twice a week I enter my room and find an idiot bouncing of my overhead light I am more than happy to accept his admission of guilt and carry out his sentence.

However, as the weeks pass I have learned that these are not the morons I assumed them to be.. they are scouts. Using the putrid odor they release at death as a warning to the rest of their ranks that my room is not a suitable entry point.

But what is their plan..? updates to follow...

Decaf BREAKFAST Blend??

I have recently come to love the new Keurig machine in my kitchen. No longer do I have to wait for a whole pot of coffee to brew, I just pop in a K-Cup and press one button and I'm on my way (to the next room where I can watch Saved by the Bell re-runs). I have no issue with the machine itself, but sifting through the cups to make sure I don't accidentally brew a decaf, is quite the inconvenience.

Now it's not that bad, as they are pretty clearly marked, but one brand in particular always almost trips me up and also baffles me: Green Mountain Coffee- Breakfast Blend Decaf. Decaf.. and breakfast? Who is drinking this? Who is waking up in the morning and drinking coffee just for the taste, when they could get the same taste plus some perkiness? Now I understand drinking decaf in the evening, so you are able to sleep, but this is specifically called, "Breakfast Blend."

My assumption is that the marketing strategy behind calling something, "Breakfast Blend," is to suggest that this coffee tastes better than other coffee you might drink in the morning because its specifically for breakfast, maybe it even wakes you up more. WELL IT CERTAINLY ISN'T IF IT'S DECAF!

So then maybe it is just the, "same," flavor as the regular, "Breakfast Blend," just with out the caffeine, but then isn't that just exposing themselves? Like saying, "No, actually it tastes great at any time of day, we just want you to think it's better at breakfast." But then why still call it, "Breakfast Blend," why not, "Evening Blend, or any other combination of light, dark, french, bold, mild, roast?

Does this baffle anyone else? Or am I just in the wrong for assuming people don't drink decaf in the morning?

Fishing With Worms

My family loves fish. Whether it's swimming in a tank, being chopped for sushi, fighting at the end of our line, being sold at our aquarium store, or being fried up in a lemony pecan crust we just can't get enough. My dad even brings a small tank to the beach so he can catch pompano in the surf, and search through the sargassum weeds for filefish and watch 'em swim around all week. (Ugh.)

Although I do enjoy the aquarium side of things, I would much rather be out on the lake/river/creek/pond/ocean/body of water, casting my line out in hopes of landing the big one. Which is why my favorite trip every year is to the family um.. cabin? shack? dwelling?.. lets just say "camp," on Lake Chmplain in Vermont.

Yes I love nothing more than waking up at the crack of dawn, rigging up my line and motoring out to the point in 50 degree weather, casting out my imitation crayfish and reeling in a few perch, and small mouths for about 2 hours before the sun cranks up heat to about 95. Not making up the temp change either.. believe me your newly sunburnt body will be rubbed in all the wrong places when you have switch to jeans and sweaters at night.

Unfortunately we arrived a bit later in the year this year and the fish just weren't in the mood for anything we threw at them. Trusted lure's were changed out for excentric ones, smelly ones, flashy/noisy ones, but it slowly dawned on us that if we wanted to make this trip a success, we may have to fall back on the ultimate fail safe... Worms.

Anyone who ever went fish with their dad as a kid probably had the same set up: A push button rod, attatched to a large red and white bobber, with a hoplessly impaled worm wriggling on the end of your hook. It's pretty simply- cast and wait, success is almost guaranteed. It almost begs the question, why dont all fisherman do it?

Well my guess is that although you are very likely to catch something, it is likely to be something that moves around a lot and isn't looking for a huge meal, aka- small fish. I'd say I made this realization around the age of 10, when I noticed my dad searching through his oversided tackle box, sifting between all shapes, sizes and colors of appetizing looking hooks and lures. Not only that, but he would cast and retrieve over and over as opposed to just sitting there waiting. Indeed the act of selecting just the right lure, dancing between the weeds and reeling in significantly bigger fish is ultimately more fun and appealing than the oh so successful worm, which becomes scoffed at as, begginner bait, and ultimately a last resort.

We had reached the last resort. We bought some nightcrawlers, ripped em in half, rigged up the bobbers, cast em out and BAM! A night full of good fishing was had by all. So the next morning we shipped out again and brought along my little cousin (3rd cousin? Dad's cousins, son? Whatever) AJ to join in. We hooked him up with a worm while we decided to try our luck again with the lure's. The air was cool, the water looked fishy, and the sun was up just enough to see the bottom of the lake.. and WOA there they were.. a pack of sheepshead the size of footballs. Moronically I tried bobbing my lure in front of them, but saw some bubbles rise to the surface.. I think they were laughing at me.

Well I'm sure you can see where this is going, and you'd be right... All of a sudden AJ was almost pulled out of the boat by one of the monstrous sheepshead. It was a long fought battle and I had to take over some of the reeling for him, but eventually we landed the 8 lb fish, twice as big as anything I'd ever seen come out of the lake, caught on a worm, surrounded by people with years of experience.

Everyone on shore was very impressed with the catch, and had a good laugh as we explained how the youngest man on board had caught the largest fish with the most basic of bait. So is there any pride lost in catching something HUGE on a worm? I dont think so, it is just less common. In anycase, I wont be overlooking worms anytime in the near future.