Forced to Shuffle

I remember when the coolest thing my iPod could do was "shuffle."  My taste in music isn't very well defined.  My iTunes library is a solid 628 songs small, made up of a messy selection of country music, lots of Jimmy Buffet, and a who-knows-what collection of 90's and classic rock, and whatever else people have suggested to me over the years right down to the Ninja Turtle rap by Vanilla Ice.

Now my iPod touch can do almost anything I ask it to, I can be on facebook at all hours of the day, check the news, play games and... oh yea listen to music.  The music is of course why I still carry it with me everywhere and I still love the shuffle function.  I never have any idea what I want to listen to and it takes away that immense pressure from my shoulders.

Because of my incredibly random selection of music though the shuffle is very hit or miss.  Somedays it chooses the perfect blend Kenny Chesney and ACDC to suit my mood while other days it jumps from Coldplay to 50 cent in a most unpleasing fashion.  Fortunately all I have to do to solve my problem is just keep hitting next until I get what I want.  It's a simple luxury I never thought twice about until it was taken away from me.

Classes were over for the day and I managed to catch the early bus back to my apartment.  Because riding public busses generally involves being forced into awkwardly close proximity to strangers I planned ahead and popped my earbuds in, hit the shuffle and dropped my iPod into my back jeans pocket.  I was free to be disconnected from everyone around me.

As the unwritten rules of the bus go, you never sit next to anyone you don't know with out at least a one seat buffer unless the bus becomes so crowded that its the only way to make extra standing room.

Upon boarding I was not one of the lucky people who would be sitting down, the only open seat I could see was in the very back in the middle seat of the 5 seater bench; I'll pass.  As luck would have it though the next stop, 50 yards up the road, filled the bus to capacity, and in the process forced people to move further and further back.

Fear raced through me, I knew what was about to happen, I was being forced to the middle bench seat, it was the only way there would be enough standing room.  Squish.  The whole bench was as uncomfortable as me, or so they thought...

My iPod was unreachable, there was absolutely no room to be reaching around that area as I sat literally cheek to cheek with the people on either side of me. I was at the mercy of the shuffle.  

As Crazy Frog came blasting into my ears I considered taking the earbuds out, but no as the occupant of the middle seat it was my obligation to the people around me to look as removed from reality as possible.  God forbid they think for a moment I'm enjoying the situation forced upon us all.  Taking the earbuds out would have been irresponsible to society and I wasn't going to let them down.

I had to accept that for the next 15 minutes my iPod was in control of what I was thinking about and it seemed to be aware of this as Crazy Frog was replaced by the original Pokemon theme song (don't judge you know you have it). 

How could I be so powerless? Jessica Simpson was up next with "Let it Snow," yea thanks dad, you were right, we did need that for the family christmas video.

"Honkeytonk Badonkadonk," Do I really have to comment about that? half way there...

I guess the iPod was loving this because the next three were "What is love," "I Believe in a thing called love," and yes you guessed it, "Jizz in my Pants."

At long last I reached my stop, rushing off the bus I quickly silenced my iPod and walked home in silence.  How could I really be upset, I put all those songs on there, and its not like I don't enjoy them at the appropriate time.  I guess it was the lack of control over a tiny piece of technology I was distraught with.  

So I challenge you to try it, sit at your computer open your iTunes hit shuffle and then don't move for 15 minutes, I bet you'll be surprised what you've convinced yourself you need to have on your iPod at any moments notice.

Now if you'll excuse me I think I've found a downloadable video of that turtle rap...